I was never really a super fan of young children, but they’re not my enemy either. I’m just.. Hanging on the neutral line? But now, I can’t take my eyes off any kid who walked pass me. I can’t help but enjoy observing their character and their unique expressions. Somehow it fascinates me in many ways.

So, what’s with the sudden change in me? My job, definitely. After days and months spent working with children, this is what I am. I love being Teacher Jo, even though at the end of a long day I would go home with a blank head and resistance of speaking (due to mind exhaustion). Still, I would giggle on my own each time I recall the faces of the little ones. They moved me, in countless circumstances.

There was this girl, A (my most hardheaded student in history)… I literally saw her grow up from a girl who sat under the piano when everyone else sat on the chair, to a girl who insists to be the leader for her ensemble group. She’s 10 years old now, still having the remnants of “lazy bone” and quick-tempered attitude (which I laugh about it all the time). Last week she showed me her personal diary, and when I told her mum about it, her mum was surprised as nobody else, except for A could go through the diary. (What a pleasure…:P)

Z and XH, now age 10 and 8, are also one of my best memories. They gave me lots of silly jokes and laughter, despite the occasional mood swing and unwillingness to cooperate (because it’s nap time). They inspired me, and in fact, they are the reason I started teaching musicianship classes and from there, my love for teaching blossomed. Last few months, Z surprised me on the violin as I accompanied. He was so good that I spread the news to all my colleagues! He used to be so impatient in almost every musical task but boy, someone’s grown up! XH, once on her trip to Korea, she composed 2 songs in her mind while taking a long journey on the bus, travelling from one city to the other. Sometimes, she’ll hug me and call me “mama..” and I’ll go “I’m not your mama!” But she’ll continue “mama…” Of course I don’t wish to be that old, but I get it… I’ve given her the vibe of love and security.

S, a kind-hearted girl, is adorable in her own way. Having great talent for art, the 7-year-old made very impressive artwork. And to my surprise, she gave 3 to me! I was totally excited, simply because it means a lot to me. S’s kindness and sincerity touched my soul. She made me reflect on myself and reminded me to be a positive person.

In my group classes, I started the “hug” system after we sing the goodbye song. The ritual is : as the class ends, the children give me a High 5 and a hug. Up till now, the power of hugging has proven to be enormous. I didn’t expect that, but it happened. Even the most problematic student can be “tamed” through time with this power. Today I just experienced something that touched me (yet again). A 3-year-old, who had speech delay, hugged me as soon as he saw me. And then when I told him “come let’s go to the class”, he hugged me again, and followed me to the classroom. This is a BIG LEAP. He couldn’t pay attention at what people say most of them time, but he obeyed totally to what I said. I felt my heart squeezed hard at that moment, no exaggeration on that.

If I have the energy to write down what every of my student make me feel, I would! But I’m fighting with time nowadays. Probably another episode of this again. I want to keep this portion of memory so that when they grow up, and when I read this, it’ll be so much of a fulfilling flashback.

Luckily, music is always here..
Through my fingers I could spill the melancholy.
Through my ears I could inject happiness to replace the occasional emptiness.

Luckily, music is always here..

Music: John Laudon

Lyrics: 林夕

很想代你 面对世间疯狂和混乱
这地球 喜欢恩怨
巴不得跟你在太空取暖
让你平静造个美梦 躲开这个失乐园
天高地厚 就快也不够日争夜斗
已不适合情侣畅聚漫游
当小温馨伟大到像虚构
在我怀内愿你当绿洲
我用风筝携着你走
很危险 下秒将 地老天荒
当千纸鹤难以伴你飞 就掷向星光
只想可跟你同住天幕里
流浪太虚 别了地球 留下壮举
只得你我莫问谁和谁 只需一寸赤地团聚
星海 随便去寄居
足印 熔在陨石里
不管 来或去
火星踏碎 若你觉得已住不下去
哪个星球你想去
乌烟俗气 就快看不见甚麽是爱
那七宗罪便够杀掉未来
心比起空气受更大污染
就算逃入梦里去渡海
怕幸幅之门被炸开

If it wasn’t for my folks’ support

Though the path I’m taking is uncommon

Passion will keep me going… I believed.

I wasn’t gonna review my past

If it wasn’t for my adorable students

Who made me see so much of me in them

And I wonder… if I could reverse the time, just to make things right.

I wasn’t gonna learn to forgive

If it wasn’t for all these years

That finally brought me to realize:

To err is human

I wasn’t gonna treasure friendship more (much more than ever)

If it wasn’t for my dearest buddies

Who sincerely behold the better side of me

amongst my imperfection and occasional clumsiness.

I wasn’t gonna scrutinize and improve myself

If it wasn’t for the time that passed

Which somehow reminds me that;

Wasting precious time on the ‘miscellaneous’… isn’t worth it.

I wasn’t gonna practice the joy of contentment

If it wasn’t for my splendid 24-year life

Provided by the most beloved family of mine

rapidly making me a better person, in and out.

*Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.*

Knew that it grabbed an Academy Award for Best Song Written for Motion Picture, even overtook Alan Menken who did Enchanted (which I love a lot). Now I could fully comprehend why the award was given to them, totally…

I was hoping that they would be together in the end, on screen I mean. But again, it’s all about reality. All in all,  I love the way it was carried out, that the relationship between them was kept special, always.

And the songs, they were just magic. It gave so much life to the entire film, moved me in so many scenes.

Falling Slowly – Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová

Lyrics:

I don’t know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can’t react
And games that never amount
To more than they’re meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You’ll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can’t go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I’m painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It’s time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We’ve still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You’ve made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I’ll sing along

p/s: I really love their stuff.

In the dark@ Venus' Residence: Steven, Alice, Me

Loved this pic. Even though it’s not as clear. Venus bought 3 of us a cake each, as our birthdays are very close. But I’m Gemini and they are Cancerian. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE! Especially enjoyed the get-together, couch talk session till 2 am. Of course, thanks for the hospitality, Venus the babehhh~~

Again! With flash~~

Then, the next day.. With the dearie of all..

With Kim @ Sushi Zanmai (I wish my smile wasn't that fake)

After the nice food treat, Kim said “Come let’s go to Forever 21 to choose a present.” Then I got this. I love you, even if you didn’t initiate it. But I love you more after that. Haha! (You got it?)

Bday pressie from Kim

Cake 1

Cake 2

ecard from Kim

Instead I recorded this. (And yes, I’ve wasted time.)

[Audio http://www.switchpod.com//users/josephineang/Impromptu04052009.mp3]

I’m sure when everyone of us is spring cleaning, there is always dilemma of “to keep or not to keep”. Well, that’s exactly what happened to me. Certain things I just dumped them without thinking twice. Then I found a wrapped present lying in a box where all my novels queue themselves up. This was last year’s! Around May or June I guess. It was a gift I was going to give away to a friend of mine, but in the end… Let’s cut long story short. My friend isn’t a “present-receiving” type of person. Honestly, I still don’t have a clue about it. Anyway, it took me a while to stare at the unwanted-piece-of-wrapped-item and finally decided to tear off the black-coloured wrapping paper. Trust me, it isn’t easy. But I’ll let it go.

Another thing you do during spring cleaning is checking for expiry dates. So, farewell to whitening cream and one more.. can’t remember. After clearing the display items, e.g. facial and hair stuff, I rearranged my books. This was when many flash backs happened. Looking at the pile of performance booklets, I used to attend MPO’s Family Fun Days, watched fantastic fun-time orchestra arrangements. I’ve been to several musicals and KLPAC acts. Beside them are some scribbles of notes of “tape recording” which brought me back to the days when we had classes in the studio (ICOM first floor). In another box, there’s a pile of college and piano books. Chopin’s Waltz book reminded me of how I used to love playing them, especially No.7. Ear Training books made me laugh out loud for all the silly jokes made by the beloved Mr. Freddie. “My cats can sing better than you guys!”… I still remember that he challenged me to finish up the rhythmic patterns without a single mistake, and in front of the class he said “I will give u my yellow kapcai!” I did it anyway, without the yellow bike, but everybody else clapped in joy. So the memory went on and on, opening up the box is like unwrapping the past. Each of which I don’t experience anymore today.

Then came the reorganizing of folders in my hardisk. Then I found this!

That was me, approximately 2 years ago. Guys, remember the braces?!?! I almost forgot about them. I remember how the food got stuck and how there were ulcers during the earlier weeks when i started wearing them. And how I need to not open my mouth when everyone else said CHEESE to the camera. Guess what, I can even say CHEEZELS now without second guessing.

Spring cleaning might be dreadful but it’s fun if I think on the bright side!

You would know that I will never leave my buddies behind

No matter how horrible circumstances could be

Because..

I care about them just like the way they cared about me.

If you know me well enough

You would know that my mum is and has always been part of my world

As big as China + Russia + United States of America

Because..

I simply can’t imagine not having her in my life.

If you know me well enough

You would know that I could be almost as shy as you are

Even though I might look just like the opposite

Because..

I am shy, sometimes.

If you know me well enough

You would know that I’m a good listener

Who’s ready to suck in your happiness or sorrow at all times

Because..

I love to be your shoulder or laughing pillow.

If you know me well enough

You would know that I’m vulnerable at times

Despite the seemingly strong and somewhat independent character of mine

Because..

I am vulnerable, sometimes.

If you know me well enough

You would know that I love John Williams more than John Mayer

Although both Johns are awesome in their own way

Because..

Orchestra simply has a spell on me.

If you know me well enough

You would know that I behave like a kid sometimes

Especially when  I’m surrounded by those little creatures

Because..

They taught me the simplest ways to cheer up.

If you know me well enough

You would know that I’m into Japanese food as much as Brad Pitt is into Angelina Jolie

Disregarding  day or night, as long as I’m near to them

Because..

Fish is the most irresistible meat on earth!

If you know me well enough

You would know that I could be more sensitive than you imagined

Even though it’s not always written on my face

Because..

I do shed tears in the cinema, but you might not notice my watery eyes.

If you know me well enough

 You would know that I’m not a big fan of pink

In spite of the fact that it was my bedroom colour during childhood

Because..

I think I can live with other colours.

If you know me well enough

You would know that I’m patiently waiting for a mature relationship

To enter my almost a-quarter-of-a-century life

Because..

I don’t want to die alone.

If you know me well enough

You would know that my beliefs in nurture are stronger than nature

In order to mould a successful human being

Because..

Fate is in our own hands, or our teachers’.

If you know me well enough

Would you catch me when I fall?

Would you hold me when I’m lost?

Dashing into the new year of 2009, here is a lil present for all of you whom I know. It’s composed on 1st of January, good timing Anyway, I’m sure all the good things are awaiting! Happy new year, everyone!